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Tuesday, August 03, 2004

Alan Keyes, Quintessential American

As you may have seen on several blogs by now, the Illinois GOP is considering running Alan Keyes in the Senate race against Barack Obama, and that has provided a handy excuse for making fun of Keyes today.

Josh Marshall links to a not-so-humble page on the Keyes web site declaring him "The Quintessential American." Among the bullet points describing Keyes is this: he is "capable of leading our country to widespread moral and political renewal, once all of America has a chance to see and hear, first-hand, his self-evident brilliance."

Keyes has said we need to ban abortion to win the war on terror. He's called "Ambassador" but "the title is a bit misleading: he served as U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations Economic and Social Council, not as ambassador to the U.N. as a whole or to any individual nation." He allegedly dipped into his campaign funds to pay himself in the past, and he has shirked responsibility for campaign debts after the fact. His advertised positions include support for privatizing social security and opposing the Federal Reserve system.

His TV show, "Alan Keyes Is Making Sense," was hilarious, for the few weeks it was actually on MSNBC (you can sign a petition to protest the cancellation). One segment I remember involved an interview of some Palestinian parliament members in the wake of some suicide bombings. Keyes said something so harsh to them that they got up and left in the middle of the interview.

My favorite Keyes moment, though, came at the 2000 California Republican primary debate when he noted that many were wondering, "Why am I here?"

For the sake of humorists everywhere, please, Illinois Republicans, nominate this man.